Somewhere between faith and doubt
Date: Tue, 3 Feb 2004 09:03:31 -0800 (PST)
From: "Erico"
Subject: checking in
To: Tombot
Dear Tom,
I trust the new year finds you and your family well. At least, I hope so.
I am doing my computer work and listening to conservative talk radio on my drives. Polarizing, clarifying. Addictive.
I have thoughts of writing my screenplay, my novel, still. But can someone who doesn't engage the world really have the perspective, the credibility, to write? That's how I see my life to some degree, I don't know how much it's true. Milton said, they also serve who only stand and wait. I struggle with this statement. I only seem to wait, caught somewhere between faith and doubt. A priest gave a sermon lately in which he said it's no virtue to sit on your hands out of politeness to others' mistaken views. Let's at least allow for a dialectic to ensue (my words). Dr. Laura told a caller that you can't let a perfection complex keep you from giving of your talent, even though it isn't perfect, or excellent. So much for my struggles.
I've been reading a fellow online, at lileks.com. Reminds me of John K. a bit. Bright, well spoken, funny, prolific. I feel like a dormant chemical compound, and when I read James Lileks, it acts as an enabler? that brings the chemicals to life, and suddenly my intellect is kick started, and I want to join in in the conversation in my limited capacity. What do you call that chemical that allows another chemical to react? How many 'ins' can I stick in a poorly constructed sentence? A failed metaphor, but oh well.
What are your prospects? How is F.? The kids? Again, I hope you are well.
Eric
P.S. C. and I were recently commenting on the one thing we wish we had happen at an otherwise wonderful wedding--a toast from Tom. Wondering what you might have said and sorry we didn't make sure it happened. Not sure if you were disappointed or relieved, or both. That's the risk when you have a casual wedding. At any rate, the casualness suited us and we were so very blessed and thankful you made the trip.
From: "Erico"
Subject: checking in
To: Tombot
Dear Tom,
I trust the new year finds you and your family well. At least, I hope so.
I am doing my computer work and listening to conservative talk radio on my drives. Polarizing, clarifying. Addictive.
I have thoughts of writing my screenplay, my novel, still. But can someone who doesn't engage the world really have the perspective, the credibility, to write? That's how I see my life to some degree, I don't know how much it's true. Milton said, they also serve who only stand and wait. I struggle with this statement. I only seem to wait, caught somewhere between faith and doubt. A priest gave a sermon lately in which he said it's no virtue to sit on your hands out of politeness to others' mistaken views. Let's at least allow for a dialectic to ensue (my words). Dr. Laura told a caller that you can't let a perfection complex keep you from giving of your talent, even though it isn't perfect, or excellent. So much for my struggles.
I've been reading a fellow online, at lileks.com. Reminds me of John K. a bit. Bright, well spoken, funny, prolific. I feel like a dormant chemical compound, and when I read James Lileks, it acts as an enabler? that brings the chemicals to life, and suddenly my intellect is kick started, and I want to join in in the conversation in my limited capacity. What do you call that chemical that allows another chemical to react? How many 'ins' can I stick in a poorly constructed sentence? A failed metaphor, but oh well.
What are your prospects? How is F.? The kids? Again, I hope you are well.
Eric
P.S. C. and I were recently commenting on the one thing we wish we had happen at an otherwise wonderful wedding--a toast from Tom. Wondering what you might have said and sorry we didn't make sure it happened. Not sure if you were disappointed or relieved, or both. That's the risk when you have a casual wedding. At any rate, the casualness suited us and we were so very blessed and thankful you made the trip.
posted by erico at 1:30 PM
1 Comments:
From: "tombot"
To: erico
Subject: RE: checking in
Date: Tue, 03 Feb 2004 15:18:06 -0500
Eric -
Thanks for writing. We got your wonderful Christmas card in the mail - with J, L and C - Am I getting all those names right? Sorry we didn't get ours in the mail. The last couple of months have been very hectic to say the least. I've basically been scrambling to find whatever work I can for next year. We drove to D.C. and back in late December for that lousy APA "conference" - i.e. the annual dehumanizing job fair and free for all. (I've already been rejected from the University of Colorado by the way, not to mention Princeton, Harvard, Illinois, Massachusetts, Vermont, etc.). Currently I'm hoping for something to pan out at a community college in northern California. That's my best best - but I've learned not to put all eggs in one basket. It would be much easier if it were just me as a wandering academic nomad living from broom closet to broom closet- but with a family in tow there's a lot at stake. Unfortunately - the pressures of life - surviving, paying the bills - have made me more myopic than I would have liked. (Sorry for my inactivity as email correspondent). I think a lot these days about the meaning of "success" and "failure" . I'm trying to come up with a third category - that would make failure seem healthy by comparison. Let's call the third category "avoidance" - something I know a lot about. I feel lousy about having failed so often in philosophy - but my failures at least have demanded some effort. My "avoidances" are much more problematic. What's done is done. I avoided many golden opportunities in the 90's and now I'm paying the price. So - 5 years after ABD I'm at last trying to send out things for publication - and it's a sure bet that some of what I send out will be rejected - but there is a feeling of satisfaction from saying "at least I tried." I know that sounds cliche - but it's part of my new year's resolution to turn avoidances into failures and perhaps a singular, erstwhile failure into a small success. I would recommend you sending out that "message in a bottle" (screenplay, chapter 1 of novel) to whatever recipient you deem appropriate. You will likely get a response of some sort that will prove invigorating. I'm tempted to do the same myself - I have much to say about the pretensions of life in academia... Over to you...
-Tom
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